Vikings, you have done well, and the bounties of Alfred shall be spread wide. Your new your instructions are as follows:

Non-vikings, please disregard this post — it does not apply to you. If you cannot read what was written, you are not a viking.

If you protest that you are, in fact, a viking through claims of ability to read Elder Futhark or having some ancestor called Ragnar Forkbrow or something, but, regardless, you can’t see the cipher, then you, my friend, are no viking. Stop shaming yourself with claims to the contrary.

We will return to our regularly scheduled posting shortly. Thank you for your patience.